I was listening to a recorded Q&A session with a business mentor of mine today and a few of the questions were mindset type questions.  One of them in particular really resonated with me…it dealt with feelings of rejection.

One of the callers was explaining that they were fearful of rejection when in the middle of the sale process with a potential client.  Because of this fear, the caller was having a hard time in her business and she was thinking of closing up shop and going back to the corporate grind.

The mentor told her that there were one or two reasons why she may have had this fear.  One, she probably had the mindset that she was about to “take” something from the client and therefore did not appear confident in her sales presentation.  People can smell it a mile away when we are not confident about our product and services.  If we don’t believe in them, why should they?

Solution?  She should think of herself as a good servant.  Approach the sales process with the mindset that she is being of service instead of “taking” something from the prospect.  If she can get her mind around that, then she’ll also be more confident.  And confidence sells!

Second, there may have been a moment in her life where she put herself out there in a big way, and for some reason, was rejected.  Like asking that cute boy at the 6th grade dance if he wanted to dance and he said no.  (Or like when you attend a networking event for the first time and don’t know anyone there.  You try to start a conversation with someone you don’t know and they blow you off for someone else they want to chat with.)

Been there, done that!

The mentor went on to say that perhaps these types of situations happened several times in her life.  The combination of these episodes may have caused her to create some sort of negative meaning around rejection that was causing her to be “stuck” in closing the sale in her business.

Solution?  She should search her soul for those moments of rejection and realize that they have nothing to do with her current situation.  Those moments of rejection were a moment in time and have nothing to do with where she is now.  Those moments of rejection make no difference in whether or not she will gain another client in the here and now.  She needs to come to terms with this fact and put it in the past where it belongs.

(A new phrase I learned recently from Rev Run goes something like this…”Leave the past in the past…there is a reason it didn’t make it to your future!”)

What IS important is that she provides the solution to a gap that her potential client is experiencing.  The gap is between what they have and what they need or want.  When they reach out to her, they feel as if her expertise will fill that gap.  Helping them to understand that gap and how her product or service fills it, is one of the most important ingredients in business…and is all about being of service.  And nothing about “taking” anything from them.

I certainly feel better…do you?

Another technique that helps you attract the life you desire is to give more than is expected. When you give more to others (as opposed to taking more), you’re sending out energy that attracts good things back to you.

Consistently over-delivering on your promises suggests a mindset of excellence and abundance. Aren’t these some of the important qualities included in your dream life?

When you generously give more than you promise, you make others happy. You also feel good about yourself, which strengthens your self-esteem and self-confidence. These are the very traits that you see in anyone who is successful.

So by increasing these qualities and traits within yourself, you’re setting yourself up for success in achieving your life’s desires.

To transform your mindset into one which attracts what you want, it’s necessary to incorporate your desired thoughts into your subconscious. Your mind is like an iceberg, that is, the conscious part of your brain is the top 10% and the hidden 90% is your subconscious.It’s also your subconscious that controls 90% of your actions and virtually all of your ideas and attitudes which affect everything else in your life. In essence, it controls you.

There are some simple strategies that allow you to access your subconscious. The goal is to input the ideas and attitudes you desire into your mind on a continual basis so that gradually your mindset changes to what you want. These strategies allow you to mold yourself to your heart’s desire through your subconscious!

Follow these tips to make lasting changes to your subconscious so you can attract your desires:

First and foremost, for my praying friends…

Prayer and meditation. Take the time to pray and meditate and visualize actually living the life of your dreams. Experience it with all your senses and it will draw it to you. This kind of spiritual self-reflection will help transform your mindset to be in accordance with your visualization.

Positive self-talk. Your mind engages itself in a conversation – or rather monologue – the entire time you’re awake. Since you spend all day talking to yourself, why not tell yourself things you want to hear? Keep it positive and good benefits will follow!

Congratulate yourself on every success, no matter how small. Each success is a victory and leads you toward your goals. Take every opportunity to celebrate and build your confidence!

When you make a mistake, ask yourself how this helps you. What can you learn or gain from this error? Even mistakes can bring the very life lessons that can catapult you toward your success.

Avoid beating yourself up about anything! This negative self-talk ruins your confidence and breeds discontent and failure. If you hear something negative, stop it in its tracks and turn it into something positive.

Use your self-talk to encourage yourself to act in ways that are in accordance – and not contrary to – your goals.  Affirmations are a form of positive self-talk that affirms the traits in you that you desire. You can replace your negative mindset with positive thoughts and images that guide you toward your goals.

Remember the 3 Ps: Affirmations should be personal, present tense, and positive. Personal means to use the words “I”, “me”, and “my”. Write them in the present tense as if this is a trait you already possess. And, of course, you want them to be positive statements.

Use them every single day. Say your affirmations every morning, every night, and whenever you feel the urge to boost your attitude.  Type them up and print them out to tape to the walls surrounding your desk if you have to!

Here are some affirmations you can start with:

• I take advantage of opportunities that present themselves with swift action.
• I enjoy meeting new people.
• I am open to new ideas that can help me reach my goals.
• I take time to plan my actions and then follow my plan.
• I make healthy choices about the foods I eat.
• I enjoy exercising because it makes me look good and feel better.

You CAN change your life!  LiveStrong and Just do it!  (Thanks Nike!)

Until next time…

Aspire to Plan!

1. Your parents and children love to know when they’ve made you happy. Make it a habit to thank them often.
2. Letting your spouse know how much you appreciate them and all they do will strengthen your relationship. It can also start a cycle of you both doing nice things for each other because you know how much the other one appreciates it!
3. Your friends also like to know that they bring value to your life. Every so often, do something special to show your gratitude.
4. Co-workers, business associates, and clients also like to know they’re appreciated. When they do something for you, be sure to say “Thank you” and let them know how much it means to you. Offer to reciprocate by helping them when they need it, too.
5. Remember to thank the clerk at the bank, the customer service rep who went out of their way to solve your problem, or the store employee who helped you find what you were looking for.
6. The more you make it a point to thank those who make your life better, the more you find to be thankful for. After all, you don’t want to be taking things for granted!

Keep a gratitude journal. At the end of each day, reflect on all that is good and write it down in your journal. Reading about all the things you’re thankful for can also lift your spirits and motivate you.

When you awake, give thanks for the day ahead and all its wonderful possibilities. Before you fall asleep at night, give thanks for the day you just had.